What I Love Most About Retail Pharmacy

I can honestly say that most days I like my job.

I like the people I work with and most of my customers. That makes my work easier. However, it is still work. And, of course, it is still retail. You can sugar coat it all you want, but retail is retail. Retail is stupid people with unbelievable demands and unattainable expectations. It is great!

I have comprised my top ten list of things I love (very sarcastically) about retail pharmacy. Even if you have never worked pharmacy before, you can understand general retail frustrations.

1. "Can you spell that, please?" I love people with crazy names who don't think they need to spell them. I had a customer today with a last name comprise of 11 letters and I swear only like 2 vowels and consonants that don't normally follow each other. He had a thick accent which made it hard to understand him--and I couldn't read what the doctor had written on the script. So, I asked him how to spell his last name and he just repeated the name. I had to ask him again to s-p-e-l-l it. And he looked at me like I was the one being difficult.

2. "Just a minute, please!" I love people who talk on their cell phone...while standing at my counter for me to help them. And tell me to hang on one minute while they continue their call, or whisper to me so they don't interrupt the person they are on the phone with. That makes me want to ask in a loud voice if they are picking up their VIAGRA!

3. "Thanks for your help, but..." I love people who ask me if I can suggest something over-the-counter for them to take for (whatever illness/ailment they are currently experiencing). So, I go out to the aisle and help the person pick a medication that will address their needs and not interact with any other medications or health conditions they might have. After spending five minutes with them, they tell me, "Thanks for your help, but I think I will just take this one" meaning the medication that I recommended they not take. Why ask for my help if you didn't really want it?

4. "Don't kill the messenger! " I know I have entered into a profession where I am made to be the middle man between your insurance company and you, but seriously....I am not trying to withhold your medication or charge you a high co-pay. All I do is submit it on-line and tell you what the insurance company tells me. I make no decisions regarding formularies and/or co-pays. I promise. I want you to get your meds and get out of my pharmacy!

5." Don't call me, I'll call you." Seriously. I told you I would call when the prescription was ready. And I meant it. Calling me twelve times in four hours to see if your pain medication is ready does not speed anything up. In fact, it may land you in the "penalty box." See below for explanation.

6. "A watched pot never boils." And a watched pharmacist moves slower. I love patients who drop a prescription off, hear you tell them that it will be 15 minutes, then walk to the pick-up window and stare at you until you are done filling their prescription. That sends people right into the penalty box. Yes, their prescription then gets a time out while I continue to look busy and make them wait longer. Evil, I know.

7. "Can't you just look it up?" Whether it is a prescription from a competitor, your insurance information, or your spouse's birth date, the answer is a resounding NO! Do you go into a restaurant and tell the waiter that you have a visa card..can't they just look the number up? NO! That would be ridiculous. It is equally ridiculous to expect your pharmacy to have your insurance information if you have never given it to them. And no, all pharmacies are NOT linked. If you filled your prescription at Walgreen's, we will have to have at least their phone number to contact them to transfer the prescription. You don't have it? Ever heard of a phone book? 411? Please, help us help you!

8. "What do you mean its not ready?" What I mean is, its not ready. I am sorry that your doctor's office said that they would call your prescription in and they haven't. I am sorry that the insurance doesn't cover this drug and we are trying to get your doctor to get it covered or switched. I am sorry that the prescription your brought in dated three months ago (but decided today you needed it immediately) is on order for tomorrow.

9. "Great planning!" I love the people who call in their prescriptions that have no refills AFTER they have run out of pills. The girls...on Sunday, when they are supposed to start their new pack of birth control...and have no refills and are angry when they try to refill it and they can't. And NO, I will not fill it without the doctor's okay. I am sorry you are leaving for vacation tomorrow--out of the country--for six weeks. But, I will not advance you your narcotic medication. Come on, people. Figure it out. Take responsibility of your own medications.

10. "You're the pharmacist?" you ask in a skeptical voice. Yes, I am female. Yes, I am young. And yes, I am the pharmacist.