That statement was spoken by my husband.
"If you understood, you would understand." After mocking him for several moments regarding this seemingly un-profound statement, I realized that although it sounded meaningless, it held great meaning.
Jim was referring to his post hernia surgery pain. He had two hernias repaired a week ago and has been suffering ever since. He has an incision above his belly button and one in the groin area. He says the incisions are not really what hurt, but the groin. As he said, it "feels like someone is using his groin for a punching bag." Any men reading this are probably wincing and sympathizing with Jim. As a female, I am trying to be compassionate and understanding, but I have different anatomy that doesn't allow me to understand 100% what he is feeling. I was picking on him for whining for a week and he said..."If you understood, you would understand."
But there are two sides to every story. Jim has been miserable the whole last week and so have I pretty much. On Monday and Tuesday Jim was basically helpless. So, I had THREE babies. It has been a rough week being a single parent (but thank goodness for the family support of both of our parents). I have been trying to contain my resentment but it bubbled forth a couple of times. I just kept thinking of my two c-sections. I had my abdomen cut open and a baby pulled out and my "recovery" period included no sleep and feeding a crying baby every two hours. Jim, on the other hand, had no cares other than himself. I was angry and hated that I was angry. In trying to explain this to Jim, all I could think to say was, "If you understood, you would understand."
Makes sense, right?
2 comments:
Poor Jim. I don't really understand and I'm sort of glad about that. He has my sympathy. Heck, I didn't have C-sections with the boys so I don't truly understand that one either. My heart goes out to you both. Just give me 5 more days and I'll take care of you both.
5 days!!!!
I understand it completely. Brian had an incision from his chest to his pelvic bone with the cancer. He would get mad when I would leave the hospital room to get something to eat. I was only allowed to sit and watch him sleep. Then he was home... I feel bad that Jim went through 2 at once... but at least it's all over and he can always fold the laundry sitting on the couch... lol
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