I Can Only Imagine

Two Weeks?!

I can only imagine.

My friend Noelle, and her husband, Josh have been told that their baby, Brielle has maybe two weeks to live. I can only imagine what they must be feeling at this moment. They have known since Noelle was pregnant that Brielle had Trisomy 18 disorder. But they also had faith in God and in the power of prayer. Brielle has done amazingly well for a baby with Trisomy 18 and defied the odds stacked against her for several months. But it seems that now her little heart is failing and unable to keep up with the demands of her body.

Noelle and Josh are amazing people. Through all of this they have been a tower of strength for their children, and those around them. They have faced difficult decisions and faced them with faith in God and each other. Tonight, instead of hiding in their house in grief they had a prayer service at their church for baby Brielle. Noelle, instead of cursing God and crying, was praising Him and encouraging others. Apparently Noelle and Josh have found a peace. A peace which passes all understanding on my part. Throughout all of this--and they are not done by any means--they have found the strength to "let go, and let God".

I pray that I am never put in the situation that Noelle, Josh, and family are in. But, I pray that if I were that I would have the faith and love that this family has shown. I have asked for prayers for them before, but they are needed now, more than ever.

Here are the lyrics from a Mercy Me song that has been in my head since I heard about Noelle.

I can only imagine

What it will be like

When I walk

By your side

I can only imagine

What my eyes will see

When your face

Is before me

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still W

ill I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine I can only imagine

When that day comes

And I find myself

Standing in the Son

I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever Forever worship You

I can only imagine

Arizona or Antartica?

I know...you would think that this outfit would be a little much for AZ weather. However, it is chilly in the morning and Cade LOVES to play outside. So, when it is in the 40's and we are used to much warmer weather, this is how we dress. The hat and mittens were a Christmas present. Isn't he cute?

Here We Go Again!

Poor Cade. Sick again.

Well, I am not sure if it is really AGAIN, or just STILL. But, after weeks of coughing, congestion, and runny nose his breathing was getting labored again. So, back to the doctor we went. He had to do two breathing treatments in the office. The first one cleared up a lot of the congestion in his lungs, but the doc still wanted him to do a second one. Now we are back on steroids and breathing treatments at home. Ahhhh...isn't life grand?

Jim got the game Rock Band for his birthday. It is crazy. His sister came over to play. She was the lead guitar, Jim played the drums, and I sang. Luckily the game doesn't care if you have a good voice or not, just if you can sing the right words at the right time. I am not a great singer--not even good, but I still got 100% on my part! It was fun.

I have been to the gym four times now. Aren't you proud of me? And eating much better--while still enjoying most of the things I like. And I am down a few pounds! I only have 2 months to lose a few (50) more so when I go to Hawaii I won't be confused for a beached whale. Happy Monday!

I'm Hungry

I am not dieting.

I am making a life style change. Therefore, I am just trying to watch my portion sizes--and keep treats to a minimum. I mean, after all, if it is something you eat everyday, then it is not a treat, right? But, I am hungry right now. And the strawberry cupcakes with the cream cheese frosting that I made for Jim's birthday are calling my name. They are saying, "EAT ME!" I must resist.

Today is my little brother's birthday. Happy Birthday, Jeremy! Sorry you couldn't come so I could make you dinner--you know...the pasta you brought me back from Rome? Ha ha ha! Hope you had a good day!

Cade ummm...helping?

Here is Cade "helping" me make cupcakes for Jim's Birthday.

Happy Birthday, Jim!

Today is Jim's birthday.

He is sick (stomach problems). And no fun. So much for a great birthday.

I wanted today to be fun. We had a lunch date with some of his friends...and then plans with my parents for pizza and cake tonight. I thought we could go shopping, walk around the mall, do something fun. Instead, Jim laid on the couch moaning and I took care of Cade. Not exactly how I pictured the day. And Jim didn't eat pizza...and blew out the candles on his birthday cupcakes, but didn't eat any. Bummer.

On the bright side, Mom and I did Coupon Sense shopping today. Great deals! Here is my list of my most current amazing shopping trip.

• (6) Kraft Salad dressing
• (2) Wheat Thins
• (1) Ritz
• (8) bags Quaker minis Rice cakes
• (10) bottles Propel
• (3) bottles Fuze
• (2) pouches Betty Crocker Mashed Potatoes
• (2) Kraft Singles
• (2) Kraft Shredded Cheese
• (1) Miracle Whip
• (2) Kraft Shells and Cheese
• (2) Cans Chicken
• (2) Ortega Taco seasoning
• (1) Sara Lee Bread
• (2) Lean Pockets
• (3) Dole Fruit Cups
• (2) Bags Tostitos Chips
• (1) bunch Green onions
• (2) red bell peppers
• (1) bag Dole Ceasar salad

This whole list cost me just $41.85. That is a savings of $88.13. Almost 70% savings! Not bad for things we use a ton of! I still have more coupons...will have to do the promos again!

I Finally Made It

To the gym, that is.

It looks the same as it did ten years ago, when I was there last. Okay. So maybe it hasn't been quite that long, but close enough. Six months anyway. Bad, I know. But, I went and it felt good--I felt even better when my heart restarted and I could breathe again. I like breathing.

Cade went into the Kids Club at the gym. He got to watch Elmo and have his snack and play with other kids. He liked it. In fact, he didn't really want to leave. There was a teeny tiny baby in there--she was only six weeks old. Cade just wanted to watch her. He just kept looking at me, pointing at the baby and saying, "Uh!" He wanted to make sure I saw her. Someday he will be a great big brother. Someday. Don't go getting your hopes up. Won't be soon...but someday, hopefully.

Cade and I have a date to go back to the gym Friday. Lets hope I stay motivated enough to get there!

In the In Between Stage

Sometime during the next month or so, your toddler may begin to protest his morning nap. This could be a difficult time for both of you, as one nap isn't quite enough but two are too many, making your toddler so well rested that he doesn't want to go to bed at night.

Difficult? I would have to agree. This transition is one of the hardest things we have had to deal with so far. (We are lucky, I know.) I like to plan, and it is frustrating to not know what Cade's schedule will be--some days he needs two naps, sometimes just one. Then, sometimes I will notice he is ready for a nap kind of early, so I put him down for a "morning" nap...and he will sleep for an hour, then not take an afternoon nap. Like today. He slept from 10:30 to a little after 11:30. So, at 3:00pm I put him down for his afternoon nap. He played in his crib for 45 minutes. I watched him on the video monitor and he never once closed his eyes or looked like he was going to fall asleep. So I got him up. Made for a kind of long evening since he was exhausted then at 6:30 when we were eating dinner.

I was hoping (obviously I was delusional and living in some fairy-mommy land) that around 18 months, Cade would just miraculously one day stay happy and awake until 12:30 and then would nap from like 12:30 to 3:00. And that would be our transition from two naps to one. Apparently, not going to happen like it does in my dream world. Oh well. We will survive. One day at a time!

Let's Rock and Roll!

I can not come up with a creative title, so just read the post if you want to

A true rambling of recent events and thoughts.

• Jim and I watched the movie, World_Trade_Center, last night. I know...we are a little behind on our movies (well, I am for sure) but we finally got to it. It was incredible to see what it was like in the towers on 9-11-01. Incredible in an absolutely horrific way. The story was unbelievable.
• Tonight was a benefit dinner and auction at a new restaurant in town to support the Bowden_Family fund. Jim and I took Cade to try out the new restaurant--who donated 50% of tonight's profits to the fund, but the wait was too long. Which is a great thing, the turnout was amazing...but with a one-year-old, we couldn't wait the 90 minutes they told me it would be for a table. So, in the same plaza, we found a neat little Italian place. It was a little fancy for Cade--they will have to bleach the white tablecloth we had, but I told Jim we would have to come back for a quiet date night.
• Cade and I had a lot of bonding time this weekend. Just the two of us--without my parents to meet for lunch or anything. Yesterday we went for long walks to the toy store and to the park. Today we went to the mall. We had lunch, saw the puppies, went to the Disney store. Jim doesn't like it when my parents go out of town. He thinks it costs him too much. I don't think it costs anymore--I shop just as well with my mom as I do alone!
• In my next life I am coming back as a man. I know Jim worked all weekend, but taking care of Cade can be just as exhausting--if not more. And I had NO help. And I managed to do laundry (including the sheets, towels, etc) and clean the house...and take Cade to the doctor (which took almost 2 hours to have them tell me that he just has a cold). Tonight when we came home from dinner, Jim sat down to watch the football game. And I, who has taken care of Cade ALL weekend, got him dessert, gave him a bath, got him into bed...came back downstairs to empty his diaper bag, wash his dishes, clean up his toys... Right when I was finishing up, Jim came out and said, "Need help?" I could've killed him. Don't get me wrong...Jim is a great husband and Dad but sometimes he is just seriously lacking in the "help" department.
• My retainer thing is not so bad anymore--but I will not wear it to work. It just impedes my speech way too much. But I can wear it at home without it hurting or driving me too nuts.
• I have done really well eating better. I didn't do so well today, but instead of giving up totally and eating a gallon of ice cream, I will just say, tomorrow is a new day...and I will only eat a bowl of ice cream!

Cool Cousins

This was taken right before my nephews (and my brother) left after Christmas. Cade and Brandon had matching outfits and both had their sunglasses on. Aren't they adorable?

Sorry, Brandon...I mean, aren't they totally cool?

It's Only January 17th.

So I am a little late with my resolutions.

Well, not late. Just procrastinating. Yeah, okay. Add that to my list of resolutions.

My big resolution this year is:

To change my lifestyle habits to that next January my weight is NOT one of my resolutions.

So, I have started really paying attention to what I eat. Kind of incorporating Weight Watchers point system--it really does a good job of saying eat what you want, where you want, but there has to be a balance. If you want pizza for dinner, splurge one night. ONE night. Not every night. Or, if you want McDonald's for lunch, get a small order of nuggets and fries--but then you better have salad for dinner. Basic concepts, right. You have to expend more energy than you consume to lose weight. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Just motivation to accomplish it.

Jim and I are supposed to go to the gym tomorrow morning. Lets hope Cade survives the Kids Club there so I can work out. Just 30-60 minutes. That will be a great start, I think.

I can use all the encouragement I can get! Hope everyone is doing well with their New Year's Resolutions!

It

Mississippi

If you can say Mississippi without spitting or lisping, be glad.

I have had TMJ for years. The pain in my jaw flares up, settles down...but never goes away. I have found that having a one year old makes it flare up. So, finally tired of dealing with the pain, the headaches, the muscle spasms, I went to an orthodontist.

I should never have gone.

Today, I got the first step in my three step process--that will HOPEFULLY (not definitely) lead to freedom from TMJ. It is an appliance called Kois. It is basically like a retainer. And basically, it makes me unable to speak. And I have to work 12 hours tomorrow. Talking. Should be interesting. According to the orthodontist, after three days of wearing it, I won't even be aware of it. Yeah right. We will see.

I should have had this done in junior high or high school. When everyone looked like a dork. And when my parents could have paid for it!

Show Week

Cade's last day of the semester at the Little Gym was today.

Since it is the end of a semester, they have a "Show Week" where you are supposed to bring your camera and the kids show off. They also have medals for the kids at the end of class. It is cute.





Of course, my camera (the old one) was apparently dying and that was the one I brought today. So, I didn't get great pictures, but here are a few. He will start the new semester next week--and it is amazing the skills he has learned in just a few short classes! Enjoy!

Just for Fun

I don't know what Cade is saying in this video.

I think he is saying, "Hi Mom, I love you!" Or it could be, "Get that stupid camera out of my face!" Whatever it is, he says it with such enthusiasm....

A Fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no?

If I were a rich man,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a wealthy man.

I wouldn't have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy biddy rich,Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

Last night Jim and I saw Fiddler_on_the_Roof.

I love that musical. It was one of my Christmas presents from Jim. A night at the dinner theater. It was so cool.

I ordered a drink. It was called Sunrise, Sunset. It was HORRIBLE. I couldn't even force myself to drink it even though it cost $7.00. It had a watermelon liqueur, OJ, grenadine, sweet and sour, and fresh fruit. Sounds good, right? It was really not. Not at all.

So, besides the drink, everything was wonderful and such a fun night.

Fun for the Easily Entertained

I love the Wii. It kept most of my guests for the holidays entertained.

I was lucky enough to see some old friends--in town from Texas-- for one short night after Christmas. We exchanged Christmas gifts and they got us Wii Playground. It has dodge ball and other fun games. You can see all of us playing (minus me...I took the picture) a game where you have to fly your paper airplane. Doesn't everyone look cool?

My nephews and my brother really enjoyed playing Guitar Hero III. But after playing a few times, they couldn't stop. Even if the game was turned off, they all walked around doing air guitar to any song they heard. It was great. Here is Cade helping his cousins Brandon and Gabe play Guitar Hero.

Life Lessons

Monday morning I got up with Cade.

As we walked down the stairs, it was very noticeably colder downstairs. Like the heat wasn't on. And sure enough, my thermostat was BLANK. Nothing on it at all. No error message, nothing. Just gone. I called Dad to get the number for the company they have used. Called the company...they said they would be out early that morning.

Two guys came to fix my thermostat. I had figured out since the time I had called that I could manually turn the heat on. So, I assumed that it was just the thermostat. It was the thermostat. Well, more like the batteries that run it. I assumed that the thermostat was hard wired since we have lived here for several years--and are almost always running the heat or AC and have never replaced batteries in them before.

So, the good news is that nothing was wrong with the heater or the thermostat. Bad news is that it cost me $59 for the service call. Jim, being a smart alec said that those were expensive batteries. Then I had to inform him that they were our batteries. I didn't even get the two AA batteries for my $59. Oh well. You live and learn.

Prayers Please

I know. A lot seems to be going on lately.

I don't mean to be greedy with my prayer requests, but we could use a lot of them these days... Here are some updates--and much needed prayer requests.

My co-worker, Debbie. She was the one involved the horrible Utah bus accident a few days ago. She and her family were traveling home from a weekend of skiing. Debbie's 16 year-old daughter, her sister-in-law, and her mother died in this accident. Debbie's husband is in critical condition with fluid on the brain and Debbie, herself, is in critical condition with collapsed lungs and a fractured neck and pelvis.

My friend, Noelle. She is the one with the Trisomy 18 baby, Brielle. Brielle was hospitalized yesterday with what the doctors are calling early stages of heart failure. This little baby--only 2 months old--will require emergency open heart surgery very soon.

My husband, Jim. We went to the emergency room last night. He was having chest pains. Kind of scary for a man who is only 31. The doctor believes that it was only acid reflux as all of the tests and heart monitoring was completely normal. Jim will follow up with a cardiologist in a few days just to make sure that there are no problems. Thanks Mom and Dad for coming over so late last night to watch Cade while we went to the hospital! Love you!

I know everyone has their own things to worry about, but any prayers would be greatly appreciated!

It's Important

Cade is going through a phase...Please, let it be a phase.

He only wants me. I thought at first that it was kind of sweet. I like to be his favorite. But then I realized that I can't do anything except take care of him. For example, I thought Jim could give Cade a bath tonight so I could finish sorting through the MOUNTAINS of papers in the office. Mom had helped me clear out some space in here, so I really wanted to finish the filing, etc to make the office look great. But, Cade cried and cried until I started his bath.

As Cade was in the bath, Jim brought me the phone and said it was Angelia and she said it was important. (At this point you would think that Jim would offer to finish Cade's bath so I could talk to a friend who had something important to tell me, but instead he just walked away.) Angelia proceeded to tell me about this bus accident that happened in Utah. Apparently our fellow store employee and her family were on this bus. All of the news I have received is second hand, but rumors were that Debbie, our co-worker, is on life support. Her husband and son are injured, but the injuries are not life-threatening...but her daughter was possibly dead. Oh My God! That is all I could think to say. First out of shock--then as a quick prayer.

As I post this, I want to cry. I wouldn't say Debbie and I are good friends, but we are always friendly. She is fun and energetic. Easy to talk to and a hard worker. She is a mom who just wanted to enjoy some time with her family. Please pray for her and her family.

Diversionary Tactics

I was going to post my New Year's Resolutions.

But, then I would be saying them out loud...and then I would feel really bad when I didn't keep them. So, I will ponder them for a few more days before I actually commit to anything. (Yes, one of my resolutions should be to not procrastinate.)



So, in order to postpone the inevitable post that requires soul-searching and goal=setting, I will refer you to three other blogs. One is my cousin Jenn, one my friend Angelia, and the other my friend Misha. Check out their blogs if you have a chance. They probably have something much more inspiring to say!



Have a good day!



http://theprincessemily.blogspot.com/



http://hishuttdog.blogspot.com/



http://mishaandjeremy.blogspot.com/

Peek-a-boo!

Cade and I were playing today.

I would hide around a corner in the house and wait for Cade. He would walk my way, see me, and I would yell Peek-A-Boo! Cade would screech and laugh and run away. I would hide again...you get the pattern. Between our kitchen and front living/dining room, there are two doorways. Cade was in front of one of them and I went through the other to hide by the fridge. I fully expected Cade to come around the corner--since he would assume I went that way, but after a minute or two of standing there, I stuck my head around the fridge. Cade was waiting for me to come through his doorway. He was the one hiding now. It amazed me that he waited that long--and was willing to wait longer.

We also went furniture shopping today. Okay, so we went with my Mom and Dad--and they were the ones shopping. So how did I end up being the one buying furniture? Not sure. However, we desperately needed a new couch. I loved our old one. It was big and comfy--but it was cream colored. And it was a sectional. Both which worked in our old house--and when we didn't have a child...but does not work now. So, we got a new sofa and love seat. Dark brown leather. Should be exactly what we need. I called Jim who was at work to tell him what I had found. This was our conversation:

Me: Hey...I found a sofa. Think we should buy it? It is dark brown leather.
Jim: Sure. Should match our room perfectly.
Me: Well, we weren't planning on buying a sofa today, but this store is going out of business and it is a great deal.
Jim: I sink in our couch now--we need a new one.
Me: Okay, well do you want me to wait until you get off work to come and look at it?
Jim: Does it matter? Does it really matter what I think?
Me: Well, umm.... Yes.
Jim: You don't have to lie to me. If you like it, get it.

Did We Survive?

Survive what you may ask?

This past Sunday we went to the Arizona Science Center to see the Titanic Exhibit. It was amazing.

We got a late start thanks to me and the sinus infection/strep throat that I insisted on seeing a doctor for. I went to a "Minute Clinic" inside a CVS. Yes, I stepped foot into a CVS. Both feet actually. However, the Minute Clinic took a little longer than a minute and two hours later I had my antibiotics and was ready to contaminate anyone I came in contact with at the science center. Anyway...so NOT the point of my story.

The science center tried to manage the number of people in the Titanic exhibit by putting times on your ticket so that only so many people went in every 15 minutes. While you were in line waiting to enter, a museum employee gave you a card. On that card was "your" name as a passenger on the Titanic. It told you your age, where you were from, who you were travelling with as well as what class you were in. It also included some information about you and why you were on the Titanic. The museum employee also told us that one of the last rooms in the exhibit had a list of all the passengers--who survived and who didn't. We were to look and see if we survived.

I was Miss Mary Davis. I was in second class and I was traveling alone to visit my sister in New York. Gabe, my 10 year old nephew, was Major Butt. Boy did that make Gabe laugh. Jim was Jacob Astor, the wealthiest man on the Titanic who was traveling with his 18 year old pregnant wife (Jacob Astor was 47). My Dad was Mr. Thomas Drake Martinez Cardeza who occupied the most expensive seat on the Titanic. Mom was Mrs. Sebastino del Carlo. She was pregnant and one of many newlywed couples on board.

The Titanic exhibit was really cool. Artifacts and pictures... The lighting was subdued and the music was perfect. (There was me in the middle of it coughing my brains out running over people with Cade in the stroller) There was an iceberg that you could touch and feel just how cold it was. (Gabe and Brandon had a contest to see who could keep their hand on it the longest...then Gabe put his forehead on it. Boys...)

We got to the last room with the list of people. I survived. Mom survived. There was definitely an advantage being a woman on the Titanic--and not in the third class. All the men died EXCEPT for Dad. Mr. Thomas Drake survived. Gabe informed his Granddad that he was a JERK. He probably pushed some woman out of a life boat so he could get on! It was very interesting--and a great way to get the people there for the exhibit involved in what they were seeing.

When we were done, we took Cade to a play area while the rest of our group looked at the rest of the science center. Cade was in his glory. Some older girls (like 5 or 6) came in and took over the little "house" that was in the play area. Cade had been throwing plastic food out the window of this house, but then the girls came in. Then Cade was sitting in the corner of this little house and the girls put blocks in front of him to be his high chair and handed him plastic fruits and vegetables to eat.

He thought it was great.

I thought it was hilarious.

Merry New Year!

I know...it is supposed to be Happy New Year.

But that line is from one of my favorite funny movies to watch: Trading_Places.

Billy Ray: Merry New Year!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!

It is funny. You should watch the movie if you have never seen it.

Last night was New Year's Eve. I had the pleasure of spending it with my husband, and my brother and nephews from Wisconsin. We made panini sandwiches on my new panini grill and Josh and I shared a pitcher (or two) of Amaretto Sours. We played card games...and of course Guitar Hero. We watched the ball drop at midnight and toasted with champagne and sparkling cider for those underage. We had fortune cookies--which all had nice fortunes in them. A great way to bring in the new year.

But today, Josh and the boys had to leave. We really enjoyed having them here--and we will miss them tremendously. Cade cried very hard when they left (until I distracted him with teddy grahams and juice) and I did too. It is hard to live so far away from people you love but how fortunate we were to be able to share Christmas and New Year's with them!

So to those that I could not spend time with this holiday season, MERRY NEW YEAR!